Do you remember this guy on the right? Gabriel Schwartz. An attorney, and a “fixture in Colorado Republican politics,” he was an acting GOP delegate for the state of Colorado. He was interviewed for LinkTV, and he said some really hardcore right-wing stuff, delivered with an arrogant, smug, self-important grin. I forget where I saw this interview, but I remember it pretty well–he kind of personified unrestrained, uninhibited right-wing ideology–kind of what you would expect a neocon to say when under sodium pentathol or something. Watch the interview:

Here’s a transcript of the first half:

Hamilton: What is your vision for change under a John McCain administration?
Schwartz: Less taxes and more war.
Hamilton: Less taxes and more war?
Schwartz: More war.
Hamilton: So, where should the United States bomb next?
Schwartz: Iran, baby!
Hamilton: Why? Why should we bomb Iran?
Schwartz: To protect Israel.
Hamilton: So you think Iran is threatening Israel right now and the US should intervene on behalf of them?
Schwartz: Absolutely. Or Israel do it themselves.
Hamilton: So what would that look like, what would a war on Iran look like?
Schwartz: Hopefully, just bomb the hell out of them from the sky, no troops.
Hamilton: Um, are you worried about the escalating costs of the Iraq and Afghanistan wars? I mean, how would we pay for our war on Iran?
Schwartz: We should plant a flag. Take the oil, take the money. We deserve reimbursement.

That pretty much says it all, doesn’t it?

Well, it turns out not. While this may be old news, it is still quite a thing to behold. Just a few hours after the interview, Schwartz met a good-looking lady in a hotel bar who introduced herself to him. He asked her to go up to his room, and she agreed. She told him to get undressed, and she would mix some drinks. That’s the last thing he remembered, as the knockout drugs took effect. When Schwartz woke up, $120,000 of his money and belongings were gone. Schwartz disputes that report as inaccurate. Not the part about the woman, but about the amount. He says it was only $50,000 worth of stuff that was stolen.

Which makes it all much more understandable. The haul, according to police, included “a $30,000 watch, a $20,000 ring, a necklace valued at $5,000, earrings priced at $4,000 and a Prada belt valued at $1,000, police said. … Aside from the watch, ring, necklace, earrings and belt, Schwartz also reported a $1,000 purse or wallet, a $1,500 cell phone, $500 in cash and a couple of rings worth $50 had been taken.” What the hell, is this guy an attorney or a jewelry salesman? Who the hell brings along $50~120,000 in money and jewelry to a political convention? And how did the police report get this all wrong? They just write down what the victim says; when he said “$10,000 watch,” did the police officer inflate it to $30,000? That’s kind of strange.

In any case, you’ve got to admit that the irony is dazzling. The woman took his advice: she planted her flag and took the money. She deserved reimbursement. Didn’t she?

And really, this serves as a pretty good metaphor for the whole country. Liquored up, we see these Republican candidates who talk pretty to us. We vote for them, inviting them to run the nation for us, and the next thing we know, all of our money is gone and we’re sitting there stripped naked, feeling like idiots.

Schwartz’s sum-up of his experience? “I used poor judgment.” No shit, Sherlock. You’re a McCain delegate. The question is, can the country show slightly better judgment this November? Let’s hope so.