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Seven of Nine Vaporizes Republican Senate Candidate

June 22nd, 2004

It’s like something you would find in fiction or in tabloids, but apparently it’s legit. Republican Jack Ryan (no relation to the Tom Clancy character) is now running for a Senate seat to replace retiring Republican Senator Fitzgerald. But he might not win the close race. Why? Testimony from Ryan’s 2000 divorce from actress Jeri Ryan (of Star Trek: Voyager) has surfaced.

Apparently, this God-fearing, family value Republican is, well, to put it lightly, something of a deviant. Jeri Ryan’s testimony, as acquired by “several Chicago media organizations” under a lawsuit for the public interest, reads in part:

“It was a bizarre club with cages, whips and other apparatus hanging from the ceiling,” she said in the court document, adding that her husband “wanted me to have sex with him there, with another couple watching. I refused.”

She said on arriving at the third club, in Paris, “people were having sex everywhere. I cried. I was physically ill. [He] became very upset with me and said it was not a ‘turn on’ for me to cry.”

Jeri Ryan is now releasing statements praising Jack Ryan, but does not in any way contradict or deny her court testimony. And Ryan, naturally, is denying everything.

Still, it does not look good for Ryan, and is quite a bit of fun for the rest of us. Not just for the titillating parts, but amusement at yet more hypocrisy from the right wing, preaching family values and yet being devoid of any values of their own.

Update: The irony thickens. Here’s a web site Ryan hosts which is all about the Defense of Marriage Act. In fact, it is titled “Jack Ryan on the Defense of Marriage Act.” In which, he claims, “As an elected leader, my interest will be in promoting laws and educating people about the fundamental importance of the traditional family unit as the nucleus of our society.” Forcing your wife to perform public sex acts at sex clubs and S&M orgies, I can only imagine, being an integral part of “the nucleus of our society.”

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  1. Enumclaw
    June 24th, 2004 at 15:16 | #1

    What’s ridiculous about this whole thing is… I mean what I’d say to this Jack Ryan… Dude, you’re married to AND BOINKING JERI LYNN RYAN.

    I mean, okay, sure, the sex clubs thing is cool, but you’re already sleeping with a chick that’s such a fabulous uber-robo-babe that just the thought of her in one of those skin-tight outfits she wore on Star Trek can cause heart failure in millions of American men. Okay, boys. Whatever.

    You see the point. *He’s boinking Jeri Lynn Ryan.* Isn’t that enough? The guy doesn’t deserve to lose for being a sexual deviant; he deserves to lose for being a complete and utter moron, with no sense of perspective.

    It’s like when David Justice beat up Halle Berry. DUDE, YOU HAVE HALLE FRICKIN BERRY IN YOUR BED, AND YOU BEAT HER UP? Are you absolutely over-the-bend insane?

    I hope Jack Ryan flames out hugely, and that somehow I bump into Jeri Lynn. :)

  2. Enumclaw
    June 26th, 2004 at 15:56 | #2

    Jack Ryan withdrew from the Senate race. What a moron.

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