Obama is doing the only really reasonable thing with the $1.4 million he’s getting in Nobel Prize winnings: he’s giving it to charities. The list:

– the Fisher House $250,000
– the Clinton-Bush Haiti Fund $250,000
– the College Summit $125,000
– the Posse Foundation $125,000
– the United Negro College Fund $125,000
– the Hispanic Scholarship Fund $125,000
– the Appalachian Leadership and Education Foundation $125,000
– the American Indian College Fund $125,000
– AfriCare $100,000
– Central Asia Institute $100,000

As I thought about how it might have looked had he kept the money, what instantly came to mind was: Sarah Palin. Had she (so impossibly as to be hilarious) won the prize, she would have announced that she would give the money to charity, given no details about it, and then we would never hear about it again while she quietly pocketed the money. It’s gauche when a former politician whores around for any money they can get; for a hopeful politician to do so is pretty ugly.

In what analysts are calling a breathtaking string of coincidences, every single email written by every single official and staffer in the Bush administration, from the very first day it began to Bush’s very last day in office, has been accidentally erased. In 7,538 separate cases of human and mechanical error, hundreds of thousands, perhaps millions, of email messages were erased. Additionally, in each case, backups were also destroyed, and then, in thousands of completely unrelated mishaps, the hard disk drives which once contained the emails and their backups, located on hundreds of different servers at sites spanning the entire continental United States, were accidentally removed and magnetically wiped, and then physically destroyed. In what is being termed a statistical fluke, there were virtually no such errors before January 2001, and have been no such reported incidences since January of 2009; the outbreak of purely innocent accidental erasures is fully contained to a sharply defined eight-year period with no meaningful pattern that anyone has been able to discern.

When asked to comment on the phenomenon, former White House technical staffer Steven McDevitt replied, “Huh. How about that?” After hearing that a question concerning the matter was asked by a member of the media, Minority leader John Boehner (R-OH) immediately assailed what he termed “a Liberal-media witch-hunt instigated by known Socialist George Soros, with the clear intention of undermining American values and killing American soldiers.” Upon hearing the news, Congressional Democrats, distressed and fearing reprisal nine months prior to midterm elections, instantly withdrew a variety of bills related to health care, gun control, and education reform, and called instead for renewal of the Patriot Act, after passing a bill exonerating anyone who could have been involved in what were clearly unintended accidents regarding the Bush administration emails, promising to never, ever ask any questions about it, we promise and please don’t attack us.

</snark>

Okay, I exaggerate. But it wouldn’t be funny if there weren’t an element of truth involved.

It’s inevitable: Apple releases what is to be a hit device, so smaller companies line up to sue Apple for “copying” or “stealing” from them, hoping the deep-pocketed company will settle and cough up the cash. In fact, it is so established an industry that some companies are designing their wares so they are set up to sue Apple. It only took a few days for Wu Xiaolong, the president of “Shenzhen Great Long Brother Industrial Co.” to announce that they were furious:

I was very angry and flabbergasted when I saw the news of the iPad presentation two days ago… It is certainly our design. They’ve stolen because we present our P88 to everyone six months ago at the IFA (International Electronics Fair in Berlin).

Now, if you’ve seen the iPad, you may be wondering: how can you copyright that design? I mean, it’s a rounded rectangle with a metal bezel and black border. You can’t get more simple than that. Zillions of devices have that basic look; it describes half the monitors on laptops today. Besides which, one of the major grouses people have been lobbing at the iPad is that it looks exactly like an oversized iPhone or iPod Touch–so if Apple’s design is just like the P88’s, then isn’t the P88’s a copy of Apple’s handhelds?

According to Wu: “[Our machine has] nothing to do with it, as they have completely different functions.” Ah, I see. And so the P88 and the iPad have identical functions? Well, not quite. The iPad has a 9.7“ capacitive multitouch screen, the P88 has a lower-resolution 10.2” resistive touch screen (no multitouch) and uses a stylus; the iPad runs the iPhone OS on flash memory in a closed ecosystem, the P88 has Windows on a HDD and is essentially a PC crammed into a tablet form; the iPad gets 10 hours of battery life, the P88 less than 2 hours; the P88 is thicker, heavier, and sits on an ugly metal bracket. But the real difference is in appearance:

Whoa! Spooky, huh? I mean, I can hardly tell the two apart!

What was even more funny was that when the P88 was released, it was called a “non-existent Apple Tablet Clone,” as it resembled most mock-ups and estimations of what the iPad was supposed to look like.

But it gets even better. Want to see another computer made by the Chinese company?

OMG! Apple stole the iMac from them too!!

Expect this lawsuit to fizzle. As Wired so aptly put it, “Anyone confusing the two products deserves the P88.”

When you read it, you keep thinking, “My god, they are really going over the top with this one,” and then you remember who they’re talking about and go, “Well, maybe not.”

This had me in tears. Literally.

During a recent visit to Tokyu Hands, Sachi and I were tempted by the wigs:

We tried on about 5 or 6 before a clerk told us to cut that out (more I think because we were taking photos). Personally, I like the blond one: “Waaaayyynnee!!!!”

Sachi came out looking like one of my students:

Me, I just look cool.

Classic:

Looks like they forgot to plug in a cable. People have pointed out a touchscreen on a standard desktop computer monitor is pretty pointless–nobody is going to reach out to their screen like that to control it all day. The orientation problem will have to be fixed before it is actually something people will want to use. Microsoft’s jump into this functionality is an excellent example of kitchen-sink mentality: use something because it’s there, rather than because it’s a good idea.

You gotta love this: Al Jazeera reporter goes to interview Mullah Zaif, the former ambassador to Pakistan for the Taliban, which shunned many things western, including most of its technology. The man walks in, sits down… and whips out his iPhone. Yep, his iPhone. Then he proceeds to rave about it: “I’m addicted. The internet is great on this, very fast.” He then proceeds to show it off for the reporter. Really, I had to double check the web site to make sure it was really Al Jazeera and not some satire site. Even had to inspect the photo closely to make sure it wasn’t a Photoshop job.

Is Apple converting the Taliban with its subversive seductiveness?

This is great. I’m not sure I want to post it on this blog, but I’ll risk a link to the comically risqué.

Sachi was watching a program recently which involved some celebrities and athletes (including some U.S. Olympians). There was a big buildup to one part of the competition, with dramatic music and jazzy graphics, ending with the title of the competition in big letters spread across the screen:

TAIL IMPOSSIBLE
I never could figure out what the heck they were trying to say, I just had the giggles for a while. While I missed the big reveal, I did get a few images of the title in other graphics:

Is it a typo or an example of strange usage, of borrowed English distorted beyond the original meaning? Maybe it doesn’t matter, and one should simply sit back and enjoy the absurdity.

Would you buy discount goods from a kind-of-anatomically-correct naked pig wearing a necktie?

The “DS” is not Nintendo, is stands for “Discount Store.” And don’t ask me what the deal with the pig is. (Photo of a shop awning on Yamanote Blvd. west of Ikebukuro.)

Sachiko wanted to find a nice anagram for her new name, so we went to wordsmith.org to see what we could find. Nothing right away, but then we tried my full name. A lot of good stuff came up, like “Uh, Nasalize Porn,” “Zonal Hernia Pus,” and “Aloha, Prize Nuns!”

My personal favorite: “Anal Hero Unzips.” Priceless.

Have a conservative friend that you enjoy scaring with things that they will obviously interpret in the worst possible way based upon their prejudices and fears? Then show them this:

Especially good if they live in Arkansas, where all those dots seem to be going. The video plays erratically while loading, so play it through a second time for a smoother result, else stop it at first and set back to the start, waiting for it to finish before playing in full. Via Andrew Sullivan.

You wouldn’t think that Sarah Palin could get much worse than repeatedly crowing about saying “thanks but no thanks to Congress for the Bridge to Nowhere” after it was so painfully demonstrated that she lobbied for it and then kept the money after it was killed. You’d think that she’d have a hard time topping the $150,000-plus shopping spree followed by her denial that she was involved in an inventory as she went home to do an inventory. You’d think that she could hardly be more tone-deaf than to claim that she was cleared and vindicated when a bipartisan committee found that she had abused her power, then crowed about how her own hand-picked team of cronies exonerated her. One would think it very difficult indeed to get be more politically inappropriate than to claim that proximity to Russia gave her foreign policy credentials worthy of a president, or not to be able to name a single newspaper or magazine that she read. And so on and so forth, you get the idea.

But Palin, it seems, is the gift that just keeps on giving. The Rising Star of the Republican Party had a PR event in Wasilla today as she used her powers as governor to grant full amnesty and pardon to a Turkey:

Now, this is usually an event to show how soft-hearted a political executive is, how merciful and loving they are. You know, the turkeys get to retire to a petting zoo, and the kids get to go “ooh!” and “ahh!” at the sweetness of it all.

So it probably doesn’t speak too greatly of her political acumen when she decides to treat the kiddies to her follow-up interview… in front of a pen full of turkeys with a guy slaughtering the birds over a blood-soaked killing trough. I kid you not:

Yep. That’s Sarah, just after the turkey in the background stops struggling in the slaughtering funnel, as the guy with the blood-stained trousers looks back at Palin and the camera–she says, “Certainly we’ll even invite criticism for doing this too, but at least this was fun!”

You can’t buy publicity like that. Chiefly because no one would want it.

Oh, Sarah, please run for president in 2012!

Sachi and I found this several days ago, and I have seen it mentioned in more and more blogs and news stories. Apparently, it’s become a mini-craze, or at least a viral video, though this is streamed video. Someone in San Francisco has a Shiba Inu who had a litter of six puppies, and set up a video camera over the puppies’ sleeping box. And since Sachi just adores Shibas, especially Shiba puppies, this channel has been getting a lot of play in our household.

If you missed their younger days (they are currently five weeks old), you can view their previous videos on the main site. But here’s the feed, usually on the air during daytime hours in the U.S.:

A few images from the past for a sample:

When I last checked several days ago, just under a million views had been recorded; now it’s up to 1.75 million. I have to wonder if Shiba Inus, a less-known breed in the U.S., might get a big surge in popularity after this.

Some Engrish seen on the undershirt of a tough guy ordering lunch at Subway:

Do you remember this guy on the right? Gabriel Schwartz. An attorney, and a “fixture in Colorado Republican politics,” he was an acting GOP delegate for the state of Colorado. He was interviewed for LinkTV, and he said some really hardcore right-wing stuff, delivered with an arrogant, smug, self-important grin. I forget where I saw this interview, but I remember it pretty well–he kind of personified unrestrained, uninhibited right-wing ideology–kind of what you would expect a neocon to say when under sodium pentathol or something. Watch the interview:

Here’s a transcript of the first half:

Hamilton: What is your vision for change under a John McCain administration?
Schwartz: Less taxes and more war.
Hamilton: Less taxes and more war?
Schwartz: More war.
Hamilton: So, where should the United States bomb next?
Schwartz: Iran, baby!
Hamilton: Why? Why should we bomb Iran?
Schwartz: To protect Israel.
Hamilton: So you think Iran is threatening Israel right now and the US should intervene on behalf of them?
Schwartz: Absolutely. Or Israel do it themselves.
Hamilton: So what would that look like, what would a war on Iran look like?
Schwartz: Hopefully, just bomb the hell out of them from the sky, no troops.
Hamilton: Um, are you worried about the escalating costs of the Iraq and Afghanistan wars? I mean, how would we pay for our war on Iran?
Schwartz: We should plant a flag. Take the oil, take the money. We deserve reimbursement.

That pretty much says it all, doesn’t it?

Well, it turns out not. While this may be old news, it is still quite a thing to behold. Just a few hours after the interview, Schwartz met a good-looking lady in a hotel bar who introduced herself to him. He asked her to go up to his room, and she agreed. She told him to get undressed, and she would mix some drinks. That’s the last thing he remembered, as the knockout drugs took effect. When Schwartz woke up, $120,000 of his money and belongings were gone. Schwartz disputes that report as inaccurate. Not the part about the woman, but about the amount. He says it was only $50,000 worth of stuff that was stolen.

Which makes it all much more understandable. The haul, according to police, included “a $30,000 watch, a $20,000 ring, a necklace valued at $5,000, earrings priced at $4,000 and a Prada belt valued at $1,000, police said. … Aside from the watch, ring, necklace, earrings and belt, Schwartz also reported a $1,000 purse or wallet, a $1,500 cell phone, $500 in cash and a couple of rings worth $50 had been taken.” What the hell, is this guy an attorney or a jewelry salesman? Who the hell brings along $50~120,000 in money and jewelry to a political convention? And how did the police report get this all wrong? They just write down what the victim says; when he said “$10,000 watch,” did the police officer inflate it to $30,000? That’s kind of strange.

In any case, you’ve got to admit that the irony is dazzling. The woman took his advice: she planted her flag and took the money. She deserved reimbursement. Didn’t she?

And really, this serves as a pretty good metaphor for the whole country. Liquored up, we see these Republican candidates who talk pretty to us. We vote for them, inviting them to run the nation for us, and the next thing we know, all of our money is gone and we’re sitting there stripped naked, feeling like idiots.

Schwartz’s sum-up of his experience? “I used poor judgment.” No shit, Sherlock. You’re a McCain delegate. The question is, can the country show slightly better judgment this November? Let’s hope so.

I just love this caption. From Kiko’s House:

That pretty much sums it up. And talk about being prettied up for show. How much you wanna bet that suit’s fresh off the rack and paid for from a political fund somewhere? And I’m sure he has always worn a flag pin everywhere he goes. Some talk about shotgun marriages–I think the lucky kid has found himself a gravy train.

It’s a little hard to say exactly what McCain is looking at here. But it’s hard to imagine that he’s looking at something else, particularly with his beauty-queen fixation. Even if it’s not what it seems, it’s still funny creepy as hell.