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Stop Being a Jackass about Your New Toy

September 17th, 2014

New Rule: just like the rule in debates where the first person to compare their opponent to Hitler automatically loses, the first person to use the word “fanboy” in an Apple/Windows or Apple/Samsung discussion has to admit that their argument is based on resentment or annoyance. Anyone who uses the variant “fanboi” gets beaten with a large stick.

Here’s a good idea: try not to get annoyed by someone who is really jazzed about their new toy. It’s like rolling your eyes and putting down a kid on Christmas morning. If someone really loves a device which you really hate, either don’t say anything, or congratulate them on being really happy. It might even start a trend.

How about we all really love our respective devices, because mostly it’s the subjective points that make them magical for each of us. Just because green is my favorite color doesn’t mean I get all snide with someone who really loves blue; allow this attitude to extend to everything else. I really don’t like the feel of Samsung phones, but that’s just me. If someone else loves their Galaxy, I don’t try to tell them they’re wrong. I’ll be happy that they have something they can enjoy.

Remember when you were a kid and you got a bicycle for Christmas and your friend got a Big Wheel? I remember that in situations like that each of us would show off a feature of the new plaything, and the other would go, “COOL!” and then would show off a new feature of their new thing, with a similar reaction right back.

Why can’t we do that? “My phone has 16 megapixels!” “COOL! Mine has 240fps slo-mo!” “COOL!”

Instead, we act like little kids who denigrate each other to make ourselves feel good.

Kid #1: “Well, MY bike has three gears, and yours has stupid girly strings hanging out the handlebars! You’re such a Big Wheel Fanboi!”

Kid #2: “Hold on while I find a large stick.”

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