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What the Heck?

June 12th, 2005

For a few months now, I have been somewhat mystified about how some particular people have been finding my blog via search engine. My blog’s search engine stats reveal how many people find my blog through Google, Yahoo and others, and they reveal what search terms led to my site. And far too many have been of a rather pornographic nature.

They include “seven of nine nude,” “nude harry potter,” “nude widget,” “busty american soldier,” “katherine harris nude” (yecchh), “nude taiko drumming,” “seven of nine sex porn nude,” “harry potter porn,” “kung fu porn,” “porn widgets,” “surprise porn,” “nasal porn” (wha??), “walter cronkite nude photo” (almost but not quite as much ‘yecchh’ as for Katherine Harris), “porn with popcorn,” “hurricane george and porn,” “japanese rice patties sex slavery,” and “sex on the 26th floor of goldman sachs.”.

So I wondered how on earth the search engines sent people my way for stuff like that? It bothered me for a while, until I figured out what was happening. At the bottom of each of my blog’s individual entries (where one blog entry and all comments are listed on a single page), I explain about the blog’s anti-spam software and how it blocks certain keywords–and then I list some of the words, which include “porn” and “nude.”

Meaning, of course, that these words now appear on the same page as every single blog entry that I have made, about 1300 of them, on a huge variety of subjects. Aha.

Though now I am, admittedly, a little bit curious as to what exactly is happening on the twenty-sixth floor of the Goldman Sachs building.

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  1. June 12th, 2005 at 08:18 | #1

    That is one of the funniest blogs I have read in a while. “Nasal p*rn”!?! I have always found search results fascinating if for nothing else but their evidence of the depravity of the human soul. Or at least the creativity of search engine users. Some of those can’t be for real. I know of a few friends who like to occassionally type in random word groupings for fun into search engines to see what comes up. That “Walter Cronkite” entry was probably like that. LOL

    When spammers started to troll the gnutella network with their fake hits I started to get creative with my searches to see just how bizarre I could get and still find a .jpg and .wmv file as a result. My best search so far was “Elephant Hat Dancing”. I have kept the jpeg as a trophy of sorts.

    Last comment. I used to list “h*ntai ja nai” in my metatags for my anime fan art pages years ago. I had thousands of hits on my site a week. When I started to analyze where all those hits were coming from the lion’s share was from people searching for p*rn. They usually stayed on my site a few moments after experiencing excruciating disappointment, I imagine. Since all those “false” hits bothered me, and none of those visitors were interested in me or my site, I removed the phrase from my metatags and reduced the hits to only a few hundred a day – but that’s a few hundred people daily who were actually interested in visiting me. You might have to do the same. Good luck! 😉


    http://www.cootey.com/ArtfulAparecium – Harry Potter Art

  2. Brad
    June 13th, 2005 at 14:33 | #2

    Aha! Of course. Is there any way you can remove those keywords from your anti-spam notice? Replace the text with javascript code that produces the output when executed by the browser (I gather that’s one way people put their e-mail addresses on their web sites without leaving them open to being harvested by spam robots)?


  3. June 14th, 2005 at 18:28 | #3

    That’s a great idea, Brad. I use one of those javascripts on my website. It simply Rot13’s the email address on the fly. The same could be done for any word Luis chose. Then he could avoid all those pervy search strings. LOL


    http://www.cootey.com/ArtfulAparecium – Harry Potter Art

  4. Elmer
    July 27th, 2005 at 22:41 | #4

    Guess what. I’ve been looking for japanese nude taiko, to find an explanation to a Whiskey Tango Foxtrot (abbreviate) wmv thingy someone sent me. I found this page.
    The stuff is hilarious, but imagining nasal sex… ghggghgaaa!

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