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September 22nd, 2005

In the next day or so, I will remove the notice I’ve had up for the past few weeks, in which I note possible problems in the comment system, and offer an out-in-the-open email address for those who have had problems posting comments. Having that email address, tempcomments@blogd.com, right up there like that, has revealed many things to me.

First, no one has had problems making comments, it seems. Three people used the address to send me friendly, complimentary asides, which was nice. But the purpose for which the address was created appears to have been less a need than I thought, so good news there.

Second, I apparently have been the big winner or one of the big winners in no fewer than twenty-one European and one New Zealand lotteries over the past eight days, netting me prizes worth 14,803,903.78 Euros, 11,650,950.00 Dollars, and 850,950.00 Pounds Sterling, along with the chance to win millions more. All I have to do is pay out tens of thousands of dollars for authorization fees, clearance payments, and little odds and ends like that. Amazing the money you can make in eight days just by creating an email account and publishing it on a blog page.

Third, I have discovered a Japanese matchmaking site that has used the temp comments address to inform me twenty-four times that, and I quote, “$B!z%A%c%C%H$G$O$I$s$J%j%/%(%9%H$K$bEz$($^$9!#(BNO.I don’t veceive your mail.” Nice of them to say so, because I was not aware that they did not veceiving my mail, and that my H$G$O$I$s$J%j was H$K$bEz. Gesundheit. (note: that’s supposed to be garbled, it’s not an error.)

And finally, I have received urgent and heartfelt greetings from SALIM IBRAHIM, a merchant in Dubai, in the United Arab Emirates, who has been diagnosed with Esophageal cancer. He has only a few months to live, so he wants to give his significant $25 million fortune to charities in Bulgaria and Pakistan (where else?), but requires me to funnel it through my bank account first, in exchange for which I can keep 20%. He is earnestly joined by Eric Kamara, Dr. Mike Umeh, Kennet Cavender, Kaditi Musa, Mark Edward, Ahmed Yousf, Richard Wilford, Alfred Green, Doris Brown, Pedro H. Gozanlex, Roland Martin, and Mario Wolf, who similarly have one kind of personal crisis or another and need to use my bank account to transfer funds. Most are so urgent that THEY USE NOTHING BUT CAPITAL LETTERS TO ASK FOR MY ASSISTANCE IN TRANSFERRING MONIES. Apparently, my email address was given to them by the Bank of Senegal. So for the next few weeks and months, I will be the conduit os MILLIONS IN US$ MONIES from nations such as Sierra Leone, South Africa, Holland, the U.A.E., Ghana, Côte d’Ivoire, Benin, Senegal, and the United Kingdom.

Thank goodness that none came from Nigeria, because those guys are total frauds.

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