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For the Wingnut Parents Who Thought They Had Everything

June 30th, 2006

Now right-wing extremist, Christian fundamentalist parents can finally get that much-needed help with indoctrinating their kids with a deep-rooted hatred of liberalism before they are capable of understanding the politics! Kevin Drum tells of a new line of books being published, selling tens of thousands of copies after Rush “Doctor Shopping” Limbaugh touted it on his show, which demonize the Left. Titled “Help! Mom!”, the series makes despising people with different politics knee-jerking fun! So far, the series has hate-mongering titles such as “Help! Mom! There Are Liberals Under My Bed!” and “Help! Mom! Hollywood’s in My Hamper!” New titles expected soon include “Help! Mom! The Ninth Circuit Nabbed the Nativity!” and “Help! Mom! There Are Lawyers in My Lunchbox!”

The first book, “Help! Mom! There Are Liberals Under My Bed!” features two little boys who dream of opening a lemonade stand so they can earn enough money to buy a swing set, but when they try, they are thwarted by a variety of liberals, who appear from behind their lemon tree and from everywhere else and start imposing taxes, regulations, and politically-correct restrictions on everything they do. The poor little boys are forced to cough up half their money in taxes and take down their picture of Jesus (ah, remember the good old days when you made that lemonade stand and put up your favorite picture of Jesus?). They are then made by the liberals to put only one teaspoon of sugar in the lemonade (making it sour), and to add broccoli to the mix, while the mean liberals glare and scream and huff and grandstand. In the end, it turns out that “Liberaland” was just a bad dream, but the boys learn a valuable lesson about liberalism:

“Why, Tommy?” Lou rubbed his eyes and yawned. “Why should we work so hard when liberals might tell us what to do and take everything away?” … “Just be glad we’re not in Liberaland anymore,” Tommy smiled at Lou.

The cast contains thinly-disguised liberal figures, like “Congresswoman Clunkton,” and the mayor of Liberaland, “Senator Kruckle” from “Taxachussetts,” “Mayor Leach,” and his wife “Allmine,” heiress (read: Teresa Heinz Kerry) to the Great Dustpan Fortune (half of the kids’ hard-earned money is used by the nasty liberals to buy dustpans for poor children who actually need shoes).

And no, I am not making all of this up. You can see the book on Amazon here, and take a peek inside. They restrict you from reading more than four or five pages, but doing a text search for various words can get you access to most of the text.

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  1. Tim Kane
    July 1st, 2006 at 06:55 | #1

    And how is this different from other fascist politics.

    Where Jews and Liberals to Nazis are now just Liberals to the Fundie wing of the Neocon set.

    Other similarities:
    Persecuted Majority
    Backstabed by the enemy within
    Culture Wars
    Fear Mongering
    Loathing of International Organizations
    the Need for an Enemy and a boogeyman
    Preemptive war
    Concentration Camps
    Constriction of Civil Rights
    Leadership Cults

    The list of comparisons goes on for almost forever.

    Those who fail to learn history are doomed to repeat it.

    At least the Germans had some plausible excuses for their extremism – the loss of a major war (WWI) and two Major economic depressions all within twelve years.

  2. Shari
    July 1st, 2006 at 18:49 | #2

    Look on the bright side. Most kids grow up to reject their parents’ ideals and values. Perhaps this early exposure to something their parents hate will make them embrace liberal values later in life.

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