One of the last lectures I gave to my Introduction to Computers classes was on “Spam, Scams and Viruses,” in which I quickly introduced the concept of adware and spyware. For those of you who do not know about these pests, adware and spyware are small, executable files (programs) which are stealthily installed on your computer when you install some freeware or shareware programs. You are not informed that this software is being installed or what it does, which is to monitor your computer use, collect information, send it back to advertisers, and display annoying ads on your computer–as if you don’t get enough ads already. This software can take up bandwidth on your machine, and the worst of spyware can even read your keystrokes, collecting your passwords and even credit card numbers. Webopedia has a good explanation of the vermin.

My lecture was almost prophetic, as in the very next class, when I gave students a web page test, one student reported strange windows opening on her computer screen. I came over to take a look. She had not gone to any commercial sites, only the site I had made for the web page test–no ads there! But sure enough, three or four windows had opened, advertising pornography and other dubious things. I tried closing the windows, and (I should have expected it) when I did so, eight more windows popped up. Damn javascript. I had to move the poor student to another computer–thank goodness we don’t fill up every station. On that particular station, someone must have installed shareware, and Bob’s Your Uncle, there’s the adware mucking things up. A few days later, another station got hit–a student said their computer had frozen, and when I went to look, there must have been twenty browser windows open. I’m not sure whether the adware was also installed on the second station, or if it spread through the network. Thankfully, the school had in any case planned to wipe the computers and re-install everything over the Christmas break.

Don’t think that you’re safe if porn ads don’t overwhelm your desktop, though; some spyware just collects info on you, or does a more subtle job of presenting the ads. If you own a Windows PC, you might want to try the Spybot or Ad-Aware applications to clean your computer. KaZaA users should note that the official KaZaA app loads your computer up with ad/spyware, though they claim they avoid “spyware”–which could loosely be defined as only the most pernicious spyware, as some of the adware they install does indeed spy on you. And using one of the programs I suggested to get rid of the unwanted adware could disable KaZaA, which seems to rely on some of that junk. Better to switch to KaZaA Lite or Diet KaZaA, or try Shareza.

But be especially careful if you own a Dell, Dude. They’re not gonna help. I started reading on various web pages that Dell had a policy in which they specifically tell their tech support people not to help their customers with spyware in any way, shape or form. Not only will they not tell you how to remove spyware, but their support staff is enjoined from even telling you about web sites that can help, or asides on personal accounts of what software they themselves use. Zip. Nada. I didn’t fully buy this story, thinking that maybe somebody was taking something out of context, exaggerating, or that it was just a net rumor. But then I checked out Dell’s support pages and found this. In case Dell wises up and removes the page at some point, this is part of what is on the page:

NOTICE: Use of spyware removal software may conflict with user license agreements of other applications installed on your system. Please consult your user license agreements for further information. Dell does not endorse the use of spyware removal software and cannot provide support on these products.

Spiffy, ain’t it? Spyware is today usually classified as a kind of Trojan Horse, a virus, for crying out loud. They would sooner honor the lowlifes that flood your machine with malicious software than help you in the smallest way rid your machine of such garbage. What can you do? Read user reviews of shareware and freeware before you install. Read the EULA if you can suffer through it or decipher the legalese, and even then don’t feel like you’re safe–the vermin are still sometimes there anyway. So caveat emptor, let the buyer beware and all that.

And, by the way, I fully expect this post to get hit by blog comment spam. I have noticed that this spam inevitably shows up in comments on entries that mention spam and other such trash. Isn’t commercialization grand? We’re gonna have to find a new clubhouse.

Note: Dell has, in the past day or two, edited the linked page. It no longer reads exactly the same. Text has been added to (a) rationalize the lack of support and (b) recommend one type of commercial spyware removal software.