One thing you can say for Chinese people, they’re not shy. Three or four times now I have been in line at stores and people come up from behind and shove their way in front of me. People on the street treat you as if you’re not there, even more so than in Japan; they assume you will get out of their way, and have no problem stepping right in your path and stopping.
Automobiles are even worse. Instead of like it is in America and Japan, cars in Shanghai assume that pedestrians will get out of their way. They do not stop until the very last inch, and every moment up until then they show no signs of slowing or hesitation in anticipation that you might not see them coming or might not stop for them. I remember once in Palo Alto, when driving with Sachi, I rounded a corner and a pedestrian was coming up. He did not reach the intersection until I was just rounding away from him, but he was able to reach out and touch the car–and he did, banging on the rear corner edge and shouting at me for the close call. I thought he was being a bit touchy, getting pissed because I took a turn in which I didn’t even come close to hitting him instead of stopping and waiting for him to arrive and to cross; at worst, all he had to do was slow down a bit, maybe not even that. I can only imagine what this guy would think of drivers in Shanghai. You can be in the middle of the street, with right of way, and they will come at you like you don’t exist. I suppose that people here get used to dodging the cars and jogging out of their way.
Last night at dinner, I asked one of Sachi’s friends what she liked about Shanghai. She said that you don’t have to be reserved here, you can say what you feel any time you want. I can certainly see what she means by that–people in China do not hold back. People here say what they feel, tempers flare, shouting happens–and it’s not a big deal.
The thing is, that’s one of the reasons I like Japan–that you don’t have this constant barrage of confrontation. I prefer everyone holding back in public. I got tired of always worrying in the States about who would find some reason to start an argument with me. I’m probably just over-sensitive, but then that’s probably why I like Japan that way better.
Last night, after the dinner where I asked that question, we saw a good example of this assertiveness. As we left the restaurant and waited for a friend to arrive in his van to take us to the next destination, we were assaulted by three women with a little six-year-old girl they had trained to walk up to each of us and beg for money.
The women were using the kid to get money, and it was uncomfortable to say the least. The girl seemed to treat it like any chore adults set kids to do, but you kind of cringed at what this kid’s life was like, being used by adults like that. Yeah, I know, happens all the time. Still.
The thing is, that was not the end of it. As the van came around, we piled in. There were a few bottles of tea in the door I was getting into. After I climbed in, one of the women came up and just took one of the bottles out, holding it as if to say, “hey, thanks for the gift!” When I protested–it wasn’t mine to give up–the woman gave it to the girl who quickly cradled it close and turned around as if to keep me from getting at it. Quickly enough that it was obvious she did this often; she even smiled, as if she liked this part because it was like a game of keep-away. I left it at that, which is certainly what these women expected. I imagine that it’s a usual move–grab whatever you can from the car that is worth having but not worth someone trying to tear from a little girl’s arms.
When I told the others about what had happened, I added the qualification of how poor they must be, and everyone in the car hooted at that one. The common opinion is that these people are doing very well, thank you–all of the grown women were clearly clean, well-fed and sheltered, with clothes that looked new. They probably collect enough from tourists to claim a better income (tax-free) than most people in the city. And the little girl–no one was sure, but some doubted that she was the child of one of the women.
Lots of people like that on the streets in this town. Probably lots of people like that everywhere, but you see it a lot less in the U.S. and rarely if ever in Japan.