In the case of Kentucky census worker Bill Sparkman’s death, what is really puzzling are the things police claim to be puzzled by.

Police, for example, claim that they cannot rule out suicide or accidental death.

Bill Sparkman was found hung by his neck against a tree, duct tape all over him, his ID taped to his shoulder, naked except for socks, the word “FED” scrawled across his chest; he died of asphyxiation, but his feet were on the ground.

So, exactly what about that hints at “suicide” or “accidental death”? I think pretty much anyone would find either suggestion extraordinarily ludicrous. And yet, local police actually told the press that the death might have been the result of auto-erotic asphyxiation, akin to what they think David Carradine died of.

There’s denial, and then there’s being stupid.

Police say they can’t figure out why, if Sparkman had been hanged, his feet were on the ground when they found him. Really? Several possible reasons immediately come to mind. Maybe they wanted to check if he was dead. Maybe they wanted to do something to the body they didn’t do before he died, like write “FED” on his chest or duct-tape his ID to his shoulder. Maybe they wanted to take photos of themselves with the dead body as a gruesome souvenir. I could go on, but you get the picture: it’s not a mystery that it happened, but rather only a question of which of the many reasons they had for doing it.

One begins to get the feeling that the local police involved are not the sharpest of investigators. One can only hope that either they are intentionally playing stupid for some reason, or that the FBI is really running the show and the local police are just mouthing off or something. If neither is the case, there is fear that they could be badly bungling this case.