“We are making steadfast progress.”—Washington, D.C., June 9, 2003; and it’s moving nowhere fast.

“One year ago today, the time for excuse-making has come to an end.”—Washington, D.C., Jan. 8, 2003; it is possible that this was a time-traveling George W. Bush.

“In other words, I don’t think people ought to be compelled to make the decision which they think is best for their family.”—Washington, D.C., Dec. 11, 2002; everyone has the right to screw up their family if they want to.

“There’s an old saying in Tennessee—I know it’s in Texas, probably in Tennessee—that says, fool me once, shame on—shame on you. Fool me—you can’t get fooled again.”—Nashville, Tenn., Sept. 17, 2002; No foolin’?

“I understand that the unrest in the Middle East creates unrest throughout the region.”—Washington, D.C., March 13, 2002; and in those Arab nations, too.

“But I also made it clear to [Vladimir Putin] that it’s important to think beyond the old days of when we had the concept that if we blew each other up, the world would be safe.”—Washington, D.C., May 1, 2001; –more proof that Bush is a cockroach.

“I am mindful not only of preserving executive powers for myself, but for predecessors as well.”—Washington, D.C., Jan. 29, 2001; again with the time-traveling.

“Well, I think if you say you’re going to do something and don’t do it, that’s trustworthiness.”–CNN online chat, Aug. 30, 2000; this explains a lot.

“We ought to make the pie higher.”—South Carolina Republican Debate, Feb. 15, 2000; Whah?

“The most important job is not to be governor, or first lady in my case.”—San Antonio Express-News, Jan. 30, 2000; there he goes again, trying to win the crucial transvestite vote.

“I know how hard it is for you to put food on your family.”—Greater Nashua, N.H., Chamber of Commerce, Jan. 27, 2000; yeah, they keep moving around.