The Great Pizza Fiasco
I kind of feel silly posting about this, but it is rather interesting how it ended up.
I’ve used a pizza place in my town called “Pizza-La” primarily because, for some time, it was the only pizza place that would deliver in town. I got used to their toppings, and have used them regularly, even after Pizza Hut came into town less than a year ago.
So I ordered a pizza tonight. I’m a meat-lover (especially the salty/spicy stuff, and yes, I will die an early death), so I ordered a pizza with pepperoni and double bacon (what is called “kari-kari” bacon, more American-style than Japanese, crisp on top of the pizza). I always emphasize the “double” part because sometimes their idea of “double” is indistinguishable from single.
I wait the 30 minutes, and the delivery comes in. From past experience, I know very well to check the pizza before the delivery guy absconds with my money. And sure enough, it was all pepperoni. I point this out to the delivery guy, and he insists that there’s double bacon, it’s just below the salami. I lift up four or five pieces of salami and there’s not only just a tiny amount of bacon underneath, but it’s the soggiest sorry-ass bacon you’ve ever seen.
Here’s the part where I feel silly talking about it–sending back a pizza because the toppings aren’t jumbo enough for me. Aside from feeling the glutton, I also undoubtedly seem spoiled rotten compared to someone who, say, can barely afford to eat at all. But dammit, if I make an order to a business clear and I’m paying for something, I at least want the minimum that I’m paying for. I refuse to stand down on that, no matter how trivial or silly the order may be.
So I send the guy back, with him telling me they’ll fix it and bring me a new one. But within a few minutes I get a call from Pizza-la: they’re canceling my order. The guy who took my order insisted that by God, they put double bacon on the pizza. I insist that they didn’t. The guy’s wording was minimally polite, but his tone was stony and unapologetic. It’s 11:00, places are shutting down, and he’s sending me to bed without dinner for being a whiny customer. No pizza for me.
So again, called me spoiled, but I’ll be damned if I give business to a place that treats customers like that. Which annoys me to no end, because I really did like their bacon topping (can’t find it elsewhere in Japan), and Pizza Hut, though their pizzas are good, don’t have the toppings I prefer. But I tell this guy, named Takahashi, over the phone, I’ve been a regular for years but no longer. He accepts that as if to say, too bad, who cares? and the call ends. I order from Pizza Hut, just barely in time (it was after their closing time of 11, but they took the order anyway).
Ten minutes later, the phone rings. It’s the guy from Pizza-la. This time he was most definitely apologetic. Sheepish. Low tone of voice. The delivery guy had returned with the pizza. It seems, he said, that the pizza actually didn’t have double bacon on it, and they’d like to remake the pizza for me. Didn’t even offer to make it free–not that that would have changed my mind, ten free pizzas wouldn’t have. I’m screwy that way. A business treats me like that, I refuse to go back, no matter how trivial it may otherwise be. I tell him that.
And the Pizza Hut pizza wasn’t so great, either. Which means I probably won’t be eating as much pizza, but that’s better in the end for me anyway.
The pizza nazi: No bacan for you… you are like Kramer in Sienfeld, banned from Joe’s fruit stand. Wonder if this is what lead to Kramer getting an enema in a later episode.
I make my own pizza and it takes 3 minutes of effort and 15 minutes to cook. I buy pie shells premade (I keep various different ones too), I spread some olive oil, some sauce, some mozzaralla, some romano, some parmesano, some garlic, some italian spices and some pepperoni (usually turkey for healt purposes) and it all takes a few minutes. If I got any veggies, I might throw some of them on, that takes three more minutes. Then I throw it in the toaster oven and go back to watching Seinfeld and 15 minutes later I am eating my own pizza. I haven’t ordered a Pizza for home delivery for years – though sometimes I will order one to take to someone elses house.
No bacon that way, but healthier and in otherways better.
Mmmmmm…. Piiizzzaaaaa…. (Loud drooling sound)
I don’t usually get pizza because of a craving, rather more because I don’t feel like cooking or shopping, and in my area, pizza’s about the only thing that you can get delivered to your door. But your idea sounds good’n’tasty!
Now why didn’t I think of this? I’ve been resorting to the sauce-covered-cardboard they deliver on the base here in Negishi (and complaining but still eating it).
After being here only 2 months I didn’t even know there were delivery services here. Thanks for saving me a potential enema due to my own fussy consumerism — I’ll just make my own, lol. Thanks for the recipe it just takes some presence of mind to actually store the stuff, but in the long run its definitely worth it!
You can actually make not bad pizza with pita bread shells. Usually you can find them frozen in packages at bulk food stores or maybe places like Costco. To me they taste better than that cardboard piza delivery pizza and it takes maybe two minutes to pry off a few from the(frozen) stack, put on a few slices of fresh tomato, onion slices, other veggies or pepperoni or bacon, sprinkle with basil and oregano, salt and pepper– very important, a drizzle of extra virgin olive oil, maybe some black olives, and throw on some shredded mozzarella (which also freezes fine)and into the toaster oven or oven for a few minutes. I usually use two pita together because they are a bit thin. I used to work in an Italian deli and these sold like hot cakes. The key is to get as good ingredients as you can and they will be very acceptable. Feta cheese in combination with mozzarella or provolone is very good. They can also be made all-veggie with carrots, steamed broccoli, onions, tomatoes,and two kinds of cheese,sweet peppers, etc. and they are also very good cold the next day, or rewarmed, if there are any left.
If you use the bacon, don’t put on too much, cut it up and put it on top of everything else (except maybe a small sprinkle of cheese) to prevent burning. If you use too much the fat will run off and burn. If it’s too deep in the pizza it won’t cook or brown. You have to experiment with the position and quantity of bacon. It’s a tricky ingredient to cook even on regular sized pies where there is more dough to absorb the fat.
Good luck. I totally empathize with the stony response to complaints. I guess it’s not customary to complain here? Not sure but I have had little luck with complaints. I think the local way may be to apologise for complaining before complaining?!?
I really appreciated your grumbling- Pizza is always a sacred issue- to be handled with great care and respect…..esp. regarding toppings.
I have a rule that we always live near college housing …why ? much better pizza! my son is 14 and he finally sees the wisdom in this rule…I would love to make pizza- but the dough Never turns out right…..
Just want to correct what I said above. I said pita bread but I meant _tortilla_ shells (the flat kind), maybe pita would work but I think it would be a bit dry.
“pizza’s about the only thing that you can get delivered to your door”
Oh the things you can get delivered to your door in Japan *chuckle*. Pizza Hut was nice, but I always found Chicago Pizza Factory the better um, value.
In my area, pizza’s about the only thing you can get delivered to your door. I live as far off the beaten path you can get and still be a 30-minute commute out of Tokyo. Very little is out here. Unfortunately, Chicago Pizza isn’t here, either. You get to know what’s deliverable from the junk mail put into your mailbox.