This story just out:

Former U.S. AID director Randall Tobias, who resigned yesterday upon admitting that he frequented a Washington escort service, oversaw a controversial policy advocated by the religious right that required any US-based group receiving anti-AIDS funds to take an anti-prostitution “loyalty oath.”

I think I understand conservatives now. I mean, just look at it. Newt Gingrich attacks Bill Clinton for having an affair while Newt Gingrich is having an affair. Most of the family-values Republicans have had multiple divorces where they committed adultery. Any number of anti-gay religious leaders, like Ted Haggard, have turned out to be gay. Bush condemns Democrats for delaying soldiers’ return home, and the next day his administration extends tours of duty from 12 months to 15 months.

Isn’t it obvious? When conservatives say something is bad, when they attack someone for doing something they see as wrong, it’s because they are doing it. It’s guilt talking. When conservatives do something they see as wrong or immoral, they feel the need to assign that guilt. Unable to take responsibility for what they see as their own shortcomings, they assign the blame and guilt to others.

This makes understanding the public statements of conservatives so much easier. Bush accuses Democrats of losing the war–see, Bush is not stupid, he does realize he’s losing the war! Now that makes sense! Giuliani says that if a Democrat becomes president, the country will be more open to terrorist attack–of course! How could Giuliani not see that Republicans have botched the war on terror? And this theory totally explains Bill O’Reilly!

Go ahead, apply this theory to the conservative figure of your choice. If there’s no record yet of their having done the wrongs they’re complaining about, you know where to dig now!