This is an interesting concept: a man can be convicted of rape after consensual sex if the woman agreed to have sex based upon a lie the man told. There has been a lot of talk about it since a Palestinian man was sentenced to 18 months in prison for having sex with an Israeli woman because she believed he was a Jew.

However, it is not just in Israel; in Britain, a man was tried for rape after he told her that he could cure an infection she suffered from by using an ointment applied during sex. And several U.S. states already have or are considering “rape by fraud” laws.

This is an interesting issue because of the implications. Certainly, one has to abhor sex by deception. It is, in a very real way, a non-violent version of rape in that it bypasses true consent. It is very different in other ways–violence is not at its core, and it depends upon the willing cooperation of the victim at the time of the act.

But other implications should be considered (hopefully without the reader assuming that rape by deception is being defended or excused). The first is the very nature of courtship. We all engage in a certain amount of deception when looking for sexual partners. We make ourselves look our best, for example–we cover up imperfections, we coif and dress and apply perfumes so as to appear more than what we are. When we present ourselves, we hide our shortcomings. Neuroses, past imbroglios, radical opinions, health conditions, embarrassing habits–all get hidden away. Is not all of this deception?

The argument that this is to be expected and accounted for by the other party is somewhat dangerous to the concept of rape by deception, as it could then be said that one should always be aware that another person could lie, to any degree, to come by sexual encounters.

And if a person does not lie directly, but by insinuation, what then? People can be very skillful at lying in this fashion, and others, looking for hints and clues, may be quick to accept such lies.

At the core, however, is the idea that a woman is raped if she would not have consented to sex had she known the truth about the man. That, however, is a dangerously thin line. It depends fully on a subjective claim by one party, a claim of preferences, at that. What if the lie was not intended to get sex, but was told for some other reason? If it were laid down as an absolute rule, men would find themselves required to establish a detailed and painstakingly honest resume before they could have sex with anyone, else fear being called a rapist for hiding or embellishing–or even knowingly allowing someone to make assumptions–based on anything that might be significant to the other party.

That, of course, is a ridiculous extreme. But if such specifics about what is and is not considered rape are not carefully laid out, then the ambiguity between what is accepted, what is wrong, and what is a punishable crime will not be sufficiently established.

One could say, for example, that deception is defined not by hiding imperfections or making one look one’s best, but instead the expression of any clearly fabricated detail. Inventing a profession much more attractive than one’s own is often a standard for rape-by-deception; other convictions in Israel include men who lied about being doctors or government officials. Not announcing a past criminal conviction would not be a crime, but lying about it could be.

There is one more matter to consider. Traditionally, rape is considered a crime only committed by men, as forced intercourse has always been the standard. While it is possible for a woman to force a man to have non-consensual sex, it is unlikely and hardly comparable in frequency.

However, if rape can be achieved via deception, then the rules change completely: it is no longer limited to men being the rapists and women the victims. What if a woman lies to a man in such a way as to get him into bed–or, more significantly, into a long-term relationship? While women using physical force to achieve this may be pretty much unheard of, deception is a very different story. Under the standards of rape by deception, women would join men as potential rapists.

For the above reasons, rape by deception–something that I think we can all agree is morally despicable and completely indefensible–is nonetheless problematic when made a punishable crime. I would very much like to see the specific wording of standing laws on the matter, to see how they have dealt with the issues involved.